Reddy Gets Jealous, Nikki Linfield.

The author of ‘Reddy Gets Jealous’, is Art Therapist and DDP Practitioner, Nikki Linfield. The story is written clearly through her DDP lens. She has a clear passion for working with parents / carers to support them to connect with their children and navigate many different complexities.
 
When siblings join a family, lots feelings can arise and the impact can be different between different family members. ‘Reddy Gets Jealous’ is a beautifully illustrated story about such complexities. It is the story of Reddy, the red squirrel, and what happens when the family adopt Little Grey. Mummy and Daddy squirrel are puzzled when Reddy becomes sad and resentful. Tawny Owl watches over the family and helps Daddy squirrel to think about what might be happening for Reddy. With a new understanding, Daddy squirrel is able to reconnect with Reddy and Reddy is able to share those big feelings which had been so overwhelming for him.
 
The book is simply and beautifully illustrated by Lauren Sinclair who captures the body language and facial expressions which communicate a thousand words extremely well in her squirrels.
 
Much like her previous book, ‘Little Grey Fox’, the story is one of heart break and hope. It reflects the rollercoaster that life can be. The book includes introductory letters for both parents and children. In every aspect of the book, I found gentle connection to shine through.
 
Dr Amelia Taylor,
Educational Psychologist,
Theraplay Practitioner,
Trainer and Supervisor,
ASK Psychology.

Reflective Supervision in Education is a wee gem of a book for anyone interested in supervision for education practitioners.  I was particularly interested in reading it as I have been involved with the ‘Wee Breathers’ project with Scottish Attachment in Action who are actively bringing supervision to schools in Scotland, funded by the Promise Partnership.  I was not disappointed with the book and have been recommending it to my colleagues.
 
As a social worker I have worked in different settings and supervision has been integral to my practice, as it is for many others working in the caring professions.  However, supervision for teachers is a rarity and given they have such an important role to play beyond teaching, introducing regular supervision to key staff members is a must.  As the author Hollie Edwards discusses at the beginning of the book, the welfare of pupils and staff is just as important as learning/performance, especially when stress levels in staff and mental health difficulties in children and young people are on the increase.  
 
This book provides a really useful model for putting reflective supervision in place within a school setting.  It is well laid out and takes the reader through the reasons why supervision is important, providing strong evidence to persuade those with budgets and power to prioritise it within their setting. Hollie then explores who would benefit and goes into a lot of detail about the practicalities of doing the supervision from group to individual sessions. This includes thinking about timing, size of groups and lots of other details that need to be carefully thought about.  There is a chapter towards the end of the book that helps think about how a supervision session can be structured and gives lots of suggestions for questions that supervisors can use to elicit reflection in a non-intrusive way.  A useful policy outline is provided that can be developed for your own setting.   The reader is also supported in how to build in staff feedback and evaluation.  Hollie has incorporated  comments from feedback she and other supervisors have collated, throughout the book.  These provide lovely reflections and insights into many aspects of supervision.  
 
Each chapter is really informative and I love how the author helps the reader to reflect by posing questions at strategic points.  This process would support anyone planning to introduce supervision in their education setting and motivate them to to take action.  It would equally be useful for those starting to provide supervision, particularly the more practical advice on sessions themselves.
 
The final chapter emphasises the importance of reflection in our professional lives and highlights how supervision can help to develop and utilise this skill when in the midst of difficult situations.  This is a must for education practitioners who will undoubtedly be caring for children and young people communicating distress through behaviours which can often feel stressful and challenging.  Our children deserve to have teachers who are looked after, feel less stressed and able to stay connected with their pupils even when the going gets tough.  Hollie Edwards has provided an accessible model in such a straightforward manner that it will make the journey to providing reflective supervision in education more attainable.  

Lesley Bell 
Therapeutic Social Worker

Healing Relational Trauma Workbook: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in Practice by Daniel A. Hughes and Kim S. Golding 
​
“We cannot change another but we can change the way we respond”

Overview; This book offers many aspects of DDP

Theraplay Innovations and Integration by Rana Hong and A. Rand Coleman 
​
Theraplay is a tried and tested intervention for children with social, emotional and behavioural difficulties. It has earned its stripes in numerous quantitative and qualitative studies since its introduction to the Head Start program in Chicago over 50 years ago. I have been familiar with Theraplay since my own children were small and have seen people (wrongly) dismiss it as an intervention that is suitable only for very young children.


So, it was exciting to read Theraplay Innovations and Integration to learn how Theraplay practitioners are combining the approach with other therapeutic modalities to address specific issues and situations more effectively than they might with Theraplay alone. It also makes complete sense that practitioners are even using the approach to improve social connection in older adults, reaching out to the ever-present inner child to support the maintenance of attachment bonds throughout life.
 
The book begins with an overview of Theraplay and how this simple playful dyadic and group interaction has been instrumental in transforming the lives of unhappy and marginalised children, regardless of their diagnosis or lack of diagnosis. There is also a useful round-up of research in recent years and an introduction to its integration with other modalities. This is followed by a chapter on the neurobiology of Theraplay and each chapter after that then focuses on a specific example of integration, using detailed case studies and helpful examples.
 
Not surprisingly, there is a chapter on integrating Theraplay with DDP, a marriage with which many DDP practitioners will already be familiar.  In the beautifully and clearly written DDP chapter, attachment specialist Dafna Lender also incorporates an example of a gentle exploration of intergenerational trauma with a parent. It’s a wonderful snapshot of how to work pace-fully with parents in therapy. There is a chapter on Theraplay with sand tray therapy – a partnership that allows families to benefit from the attachment building and reduced anxiety that Theraplay offers combined with the explicit trauma processing that sand tray therapy can facilitate. There is a wonderful chapter on Theraplay and EMDR and how closely these two modalities map onto each other in their structure and thorough preparation. This chapter by Helen Rodwell was one of my favourite, not only because Theraplay took the lead in the treatment approach but also because of Rodwell’s in-depth knowledge of the work and her clarity and confidence in writing about it. Other topics explored include combining Theraplay with other play therapy approaches; using Bruce Perry’s Neuro-Sequequential Model of Therapeutics; music therapies and Theraplay and working with autistic and gifted children. There is an excellent chapter by Jay Vaughan on somatic experiencing with Theraplay within the Family Futures model of Neuro-Physiological Psychotherapy (NPP). This may be of particular interest to adopters who could identify with the emotive case study.  Vaughan repeats throughout the essential message that we must read the nonverbal cues of the child and track our own non-verbal communication, while ensuring we regulate our own nervous systems to facilitate regulation in the child.
 
The editors also managed to squeeze in information about group Theraplay with teens in SEN setting and with homeless families as well as a chapter on ways to engage men in the play. As expected with a post-Covid publication there is a chapter on Theraplay and telehealth, making this a dynamic and comprehensive collection of innovative Theraplay collaborations.
 
This is such a well-written, well structured, engaging, and accessible book, aimed at answering many of the questions, parents, funders and therapists would have around the use of Theraplay in various contemporary settings with traumatised children and others. It is easy to dip in and out of and has many practical suggestions on working with families with differing abilities, structures and cultural needs. It is a welcome addition to the Theraplay literature.

Sheila Lavery
art psychotherapist, trauma educator and therapeutic parenting coach

Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviours by Robyn Gobbel

This book is essentially about how change in the brain occurs inside an attuned relationship.  For many of us who are parenting children with a history of trauma, when reading this book we feel like we’re in a therapeutic relationship with the author.  We may feel change in our own brains or maybe we will just have our prior knowledge reaffirmed in a forgiving, compassionate way.  Either way, this book is a refreshing and comforting look into our children’s behaviour and our responses to it.
 
Throughout the text there are imaginary (albeit very relatable) conversations between the author as therapist and a mother who is seeking help to address her daughter’s needs.  It is easy to imagine ourselves in that mother’s shoes and much of what she questions reflects common doubts, queries and issues.  From the outset, the challenges of parenting children with a vulnerable nervous system are recognised.  Our struggles are not only whole-heartedly recognised here but are validated and rationalised in a way that fosters self-compassion and forgiveness.  Clarifications of what may lie behind certain behaviours as well as reinforcement that we are doing our best in difficult circumstances abound.
 
The use of metaphors (possum, owl, watchdog) to describe the different states of the brain is excellent.  We are provided with language and strategies both to use with our children and, perhaps more importantly, to reflect on for ourselves.  We are reminded that we all need to grow our ‘owl’ brain and it matters not that we may have read and heard about this before.  Rather the use of different metaphors adds to our understanding especially as this writing is clear and accessible to all.  There is a good overview of the main theories around this topic at the moment eg. Porges, Perry and it is pleasing to see attachment theory being given prominence and full explanation.  The science is included but it is not overwhelming.
 
Some key messages permeate the text and deserve to be highlighted:

• the importance of felt safety – it’s about remembering it is our children’s perception of their safety and not ours;
• that we are not there as parents to fix or change our children – it’s about how we respond to the need they are expressing at that moment through their behaviour
• that we need to take a holistic, ecological view of our children’s behaviour, including how our responses may be expressions of our mental state

 
Alongside strategies to respond to our children, we are also given approaches to ensure that we are compassionate with ourselves.  Some of this is not new (e.g. playfulness) but here it is well-packaged and speaks directly to us.  The discussion with the imaginary mother about her felt need to apply a consequence answers one of the most frequently asked questions and comforts us by showing a very human reaction and need.  In chapter 9, the author writes ‘I see you’ and in doing so communicates an empathy which we don’t always find.  We are allowed to slip up, our efforts are acknowledged and we find comfort and strength in this understanding.
 
On the whole, this is a comprehensive and easily-read book which will bring not only practical strategies but emotional validation and empathic understanding to many.

Dr Christine McKee

Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings Activity Book: A trauma-informed guide for counsellors, educators and parents by Jessica Sinarski, Illustrated by Zachary Kline (Jessica Kingsley)
 
Helping children to trust, express their feelings, get to know themselves, and learn to regulate, means having creative resources as well as being a playful, curious and empathetic safe person. And while it is important to adopt a coherent therapeutic approach you can never have too many tools for children whose defences enable them to outsmart your best strategies.

Having said that I’m always cautious about toolkits and fix-it approaches that require both child and adult to work too hard or stick too closely to a device at the cost of remaining present in the relationship.

So, I wondered where Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings Activity Book would fall on my resource barometer.  At over 150 pages packed with colourful content it is a BIG BOOK and at first flick it can feel like a lot. But if you start at the intro and work through in a considered way, it is clear that a coherent, trauma-informed approach underpins all of the content. Despite its childlike appearance this guide is for adults to help children in understanding the mind body connection and how to regulate using bottom-up and top-down strategies.
 
The book is divided into an introduction or basic primer for adults and a further eight sections – all of which are adult led. The first three sections focus on preparing safe ground for doing feelings work, becoming a feelings detective and understanding and befriending all the parts of the brain. I particularly like this section as it educates the reader and leads them safely through the rationale for all activities.  It feels safe! The book uses animal metaphors throughout – adults are “safe big critters”, which might not necessarily suit everybody’s lexicon, but a sensitive reader can check in with the child if they would prefer alternative language. The survival responses (known as protectors) in the downstairs brain also get animal identities. For example, the porcupine gets prickly towards others and the chameleon is, of course, compliant. These animal identities felt a bit awkward for me to begin with but as I became more familiar with the text I could see how they might work. Each of the next four sections is devoted to each of the big four feelings: happy, mad, sad and scared with workbook activities and an extended vocabulary for each emotion. The final section contains additional materials and throughout the book there is a code to use online for downloading activity templates.
 
For the theoretical basis, the author pulls together key aspects of trauma education and trauma-informed approaches such as:

• Education about early brain development using Dan Siegel’s concept of the upstairs and downstairs brain to encourage understanding of children’s feelings, thoughts, responses and regulation.
• Attachment, safe adults, and Dan Hughes’s PACE model of relational connection.
• Recognising survival responses and the concept of protector parts or defences as well as concepts of bottom up and top-down regulation.

 
There is a lot in this book that is useful, I think it might require the adults to do some extra reading around brain development and developmental trauma to maximise the potential of the activities and hopefully readers would feel inspired to do that. I think it is also important try out the activities before introducing them to a child. Rehearsals make the actual work so much easier and you can iron out quite a few glitches on a dry run. However, what is here is really clear, concise and user friendly. You may also find you want to lift out bits and leave others – it appears to have some flexibility in that regard. I also like the clarity and the accepting approach to feelings of all sizes and shapes and the importance of learning to be comfortable with discomfort, and it’s great to see suggestions for therapeutic boundaries in the “Try This” boxes.
 
All in all, there is a lot of useful content here, some of it can seem quite daunting to have to remember, and yet these are all ideas that you could adapt and personalise to the child that you know. It is a wonderful resource for school counsellors and anyone focusing on child wellbeing and a valuable addition to the existing library of Riley adventures. Riley fans will love it.

Sheila Lavery

The A-Z of Trauma-Informed Teaching: Strategies and Solutions to Help with Behaviour and Support for Children Aged 3-11 Paperback – 21 Aug. 2023 by Sarah Naish (Author), Anne Oakley (Author), Hannah O'Brien (Author), Sair Penna (Author), Daniel Thrower (Author)

It is clear from the outset that this book is based on extensive and varied experience of working and living with children who have experienced trauma and adversity.  It is the latest addition to Sarah Naish’s range on therapeutic approaches to responding to the distressed behaviour of traumatised children.  While we may be hesitant to apply the ‘A-Z’ approach to this topic in an educational context, as it is about so much more than a list of strategies, it is acknowledged early on that there is no quick fix.
 
There are two possible ways of reading this book: from cover to cover; or by dipping in according to the particular area of concern or interest and reading the relevant section.  The format allows for both but the former is most recommended.  In so doing, the reader will come to an appreciation of the interrelated nature of many of the issues with which children present as well as gain a deep understanding of what is needed if we are to be truly trauma-responsive in the classroom. 
 
Part 1 offers us a brief tour of the latest thinking and approaches in this field and as such provides a good theoretical backdrop to what follows in Part 2.  It is here where we find the real strength of this book, that is the vast array of practical strategies offered.  The A-Z is a comprehensive list of possible behaviours and issues related to trauma and while it is worth going straight to the aspect with which the reader has most concern, a flick through the book also enlightens us to topics which we perhaps hadn’t considered previously.  For example, the sections on ‘charming’ and ‘choosing difficulties’ highlight how the impact of trauma may manifest itself in so many different ways.
 
Each section has a ‘what is looks like’ and ‘why it might happen’ notes as well as preventative and follow-up strategies, all expressed in no-nonsense language and peppered throughout with examples from previous experience.  The child is placed firmly at the centre throughout but we are prompted also to reflect on our own expectations and responses – this is crucial if we are to truly meet the needs of these children (all children, in fact).  Indeed, upon reading this book we may come to a greater appreciation that being ‘trauma-informed’ is often not dependent on supplementary resources but rather a more simplistic but incredibly powerful way of looking at children and their behaviour.  One example of this is ’keeping in mind’ – the power of those extra words, a postcard, objects which just relay to the child that they are being thought of, and remembered.
 
The themes which stand out across this A-Z reflect the need for a child to feel safe in the classroom environment as well as approaches which prioritise relationships, understanding and empathy.  There is great creativity in some of the very practical strategies offered, for example when preparing for a fire drill and an opportunity at times to see what we are aspiring to (e.g. emotional regulation).  Alongside this, though, there is acceptance that what will really change the life paths of these children is understanding, care and consistency over a long period of time.  Perhaps one of the first steps in this is to read this book!

By Dr Christine McKee
Lecturer in Teacher Education, University of Glasgow

ADHD an A-Z.  Figuring it Out Step by Step by Leanne Maskell. 
 
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has become better-known in recent years, with many books and media programme having been produced that help dispel myths and misunderstandings.

This book is a great addition to the neurodiverse library. It provides a much-needed antidote to books that have, during previous times, taken a pathologizing and overly-clinical approach. It’s written by Leanne Maskell who is an ADHD coach who was herself diagnosed with ADHD.


Through the A-to-Z format, Leanne covers topics which are highly pertinent and relevant, and that clearly demonstrate that she knows what needs to be looked at and understood from a different perspective.  Her style is friendly, candid, practical and useful. The book’s layout is user-friendly; you can go straight to a topic and pick up some useful insights and practical advice quickly and succinctly.  It isn’t overly wordy or full of incomprehensible jargon.  Leanne shares her own experiences, which allow the reader to feel better understood and validated. 
​
This book would be helpful to teens and adults who are wondering if they are ADHD, as well as those who have been diagnosed.  It’s also valuable for the people supporting a ADHDer – their family, partner and friends. It’s a book for professionals who want to gain greater insight into, and compassion for, what life can be like for an ADHDer and what can help, without being too prescriptive.  I felt that I developed a deeper understanding of ADHD by reading this book. It can be easy sometimes to hold a stereotype of ADHD and how we think it affects someone. It can also often be easy to underestimate how a difficulty (or difference) with inattention for example, can influence many areas of life and functioning, such as being in a loving relationship.  ADHD can sometimes influence daily life in ways that are not so obvious!

This book encourages the ADHD reader to really learn about their ADHD and then take a proactive stance to finding strategies that may help with (or prevent) difficult situations, and help tasks become more doable.  It is empowering and gives lots of different ideas and choices for strategies to try.
 
Review by:
Dr Helen Rodwell, Consultant Clinical Psychologist
Co-author of: Parenting with Theraplay; An Introduction to Autism for Adoptive and Foster Families; CoramBaaf Good Practice Guide on Supporting the Mental Health of Looked After and Adopted Children. 

Polyvagal Flip Chart by Deb Dana 
 
It would be difficult to overstate how important polyvagal theory (PVT) has become in our understanding and treatment of trauma. The theory, first introduced by behavioural neuroscientist, Stephen Porges in 1994, describes how the autonomic nervous system responds to experiences and can be regulated/dysregulated via three pathways of the vagal nerve system. Although hugely valuable for trauma educators, support workers and therapists, PVT is a complex theory to understand and teach, and it is sometimes difficult to see how to make it work in practice. Deb Dana has made all of that much easier through her wonderful polyvagal resources, the latest of which is the Polyvagal Flip Chart.
 
The flip chart is a visual aid to use with therapy clients. The free-standing design allows the therapist to display diagrams and minimal text about the theory and its application to clients, while accessing explanatory notes on the back. Psychoeducation is such a valuable empowering aspect of trauma recovery and this tool makes it an interactive experience, a sharing of information which clients can use to make sense of their experiences in the moment or while recalling events that have been troubling them. I have used a similar flip chart about the impact of trauma The Living Legacy of Trauma Flip Chart by Janina Fisher (PESI) and seen it transform people’s understanding of their symptoms and behaviour. It’s amazing the relief people can experience when they realise there is a scientific explanation for why it has been so difficult for them to “pull themselves together”.
 
The Polyvagal Flipchart can help to take that process to the next level, enabling clients to understand the speed at which the nervous system responds to threat and engagement (and how it is outside conscious control), why threat responses differ and how social engagement can help with regulation. Using the chart in sessions can help clients identify and work with their own habitual responses. It also helps clients understand the link between trauma and physical symptoms such as digestive problems - so many trauma survivors experience chronic digestive disorders. Personal profile maps can help people work out their own triggers and glimmers – triggers being the cues for danger and glimmers the moments of safety and connection. Triggers are often easy to identify as they tend to be why the client comes for therapy but they may be less aware of their glimmers and resources.  Identifying these can make clients aware of their resources in times of need. There’s also a version of the map for children and a time and tone map to help chart a client’s state throughout a session or during an experience.
 
Like all resources, it is important to become very familiar with the flipchart before introducing it to clients. It can take a while to feel confident with the content as it is so complex, but an additional chart on recognising the symptoms relating to different states is a really helpful addition. Of all the information and resources available on polyvagal theory, I would rank this one highly. It’s definitely a valuable addition to a therapist’s toolkit.

Sheila Lavery

Riley the Brave's Sensational Senses: Help for Sensory and Emotional Challenges by Jessica Sinarski, illustrated by Zachary Kline

This book is part of a series featuring Riley the Brave – a little bear with big feelings. In this story Riley is finding it difficult to deal with all the different sensations around him and struggles to make sense of his feelings. Sometimes it all gets too much and Riley gets angry and shouts at people, because his senses cannot cope. 

The joy of this story is that everyone around Riley recognises that when this happens he is feeling overwhelmed and in need of kindness and understanding. The other animals support Riley to learn how to make sense of his senses and figure out things to do to help him feel safe. The book also touches gently on the big feelings of being different, and through relationships helps Riley understand that everyone has different sensory experiences and needs.

The book has simple, fun, colourful illustrations that will help engage children in thinking about their sensory system. Included is an information section for grown-ups with useful explanations and practical tools. This book would help parents and professionals to make a sensational plan to support a child to feel safe and in control, and to build resilience for when things don’t go as planned. 

I would highly recommend this book, not only to those supporting children with sensory sensitivities. All children can at times feel sensory overload so this book is for all.

Claire Slocombe - mum, teacher

Can't Not Won't: A Story About A Child Who Couldn't Go To School by Eliza Fricker

Can’t Not Won’t is an account of a family’s experience of navigating the education system with their child who has found the school environment so distressing, that they could not attend.

The title caught my attention because I am aware that there is often an assumption that a child is choosing not to attend, that they just don’t want to go.


This book is written in what I would describe as ‘comic book’ style with very few words and simple illustrations. This unexpected style for such a serious subject made it easy to read and truly accessible. I read the first part in one sitting as I couldn’t put it down. It is a straightforward honest account of this family’s experience and that is what made it powerful. The combination of words and pictures helped me ‘get it’ without having to re-read parts (something I find myself doing with more formal texts). 

As a teacher, this book allowed me to view a fuller picture of a family’s experience in their interactions with school. I recognised words and phrases which education professionals use, perhaps without awareness of the impact they have. The author made it seem like I was walking through the experiences with her and her family. It also prompted me to reflect on my own beliefs about what I regard as a good day for children struggling within the school environment. It challenges the often-heard phrase that it is ‘good enough just to be in school’ as if making it over the threshold is the win. 

I also read this as a parent and grandparent who has had experience of navigating the school system attempting to ensure my neurodiverse bairns’ needs were accommodated. The author very clearly illustrates how difficult and all-consuming this experience can be for all family members. 

There is also a short, jargon free guidance section which I would recommend readers go back to later. Let the impact of the sketches sink in first. I waited a few weeks. I was not ready to read a more formal style after the impact of the ‘straight to the point’ message of the author’s drawings. This section provides useful information, particularly for those new to teaching or this subject. The Afterword from the author provides a sense of hope, that there is another way.

Alison Todd - Mum, Gran, Teacher.

The Social Distance Between Us: How Remote Politics Wrecked Britain by  Darren McGarvey 


I've just finished reading this book.
Please read it.
Nothing else has given me so much hope that we can transform society into something more compassionate and more equal.
I might just read it again.



Real wordsmiths like Darren McGarvey only come along once in a generation. He can craft a sentence the way Delia Smith can craft a soufflé - and (let's imagine eating a Delia Smith soufflé) when you take a bite, the centre is even better than it looks on the surface. 

At the centre of Darren McGarvey's beautiful sentences is a message we would all do well to taste and consume: a lack of proximity to one another is the rot that is destroying our society. The optimistic flip side is this: we need a new politics based on relationships and community. 

"The Social Distance Between Us" is transformative by making this radical change feel within our reach. We can do this. We have to do this.

Professor Helen Minnis

A Book of Feelings By Amanda McCardie
 
This story introduces us to a loving, safe family. We are guided through everyday situations that our children may come across which might seem so small, and yet feel so big. It starts from a place of safety, thinking about happiness, and then moves through the daily lives of the children within the family to explore the intricacies of other feelings that they and their friends might come across.
 

​There is a lovely journey through how one child’s underlying feelings might, in turn, lead to someone else’s feelings changing. There is a sprinkling of humour, which helps to give little light-hearted interruptions to some of the more difficult feelings being explored. The beautiful illustrations really help to bring colour to the words, through pictures and speech bubbles.
 
The book helps to think about how people might look or seem a certain way on the surface but be feeling something quite different on the inside. The family in the story give safe boundaries to think about the nuances of why events can cause us to feel a certain way.
 
What is also particularly helpful about this book, is the indexing of different emotions at the end, allowing this to become a resource to revisit at significant times. There are lots of examples – in the story and in the illustrations - which help to make the key themes relevant to lots of children.
 
A lovely story using a gentle flow of rupture, repair, a bit of humour, and real examples of growing up!
 
Emma Shedlow
Occupational Therapist, Trainer.

Up and Down Mum 
illustrated by Summer Macon. 
 
 
For the nameless child narrator in the story, living with Mum is like being on a roller coaster. When Mum is happy, it feels like she can do anything. When she is sad, “it feels like she is in a deep dark hole and nothing can make her feel better.”



​Imagine what it would be like for a young child living with a parent like that and having no one to support her through it. That is why books like this are important. Children know if it’s in a story it must be real for someone else other than just them and so they are not alone.
 
Mum in the story has bipolar disorder, but the child’s experience is likely to be similar if a parent has other mental health challenges characterised by fluctuating moods such as ADHD or a personality disorder for example, making the book’s application broader than the blurb suggests. I reviewed the book with my granddaughter who lives with an “up and down” parent so I was sensitive to the impact the story would have on her. Some of it resonated with her; inevitably some did not align with her lived experience, but I think it helped for her to read it and share the content.
 
This is what Amy had to say:
“I like the pictures and how she (the illustrator) draws the people. I like that the mum ends up being like other mums in the end. I was interested in the story, it was fun to read and I thought it felt quite happy. The mum’s emotions are a bit extreme and she has to go into hospital to help her control her emotions. I think that’s a good thing that she gets help with them. I like the fact that the boy likes spending time with his mum and grandad – he wouldn’t want to have to choose between them. He is embarrassed by his mum but he loves her. He loves her both ways – before her emotions are fixed and after. It’s a bit embarrassing that’s all, but he’s used to it. The mum wanted to be a good mum. I think she was glad when her emotions got fixed. The boy calls her his “up and down mum” and that’s how he makes sense of it. Some days she’s quiet and sad and sometimes lively. She is like a normal person but more extreme.”
 
The book highlights the importance of having support. Although family support is something that Amy understands and recognises as critical she is not familiar with the concept of therapeutic support (the child and Mum in the story see a family therapist). Neither does she have a mum who can ask for help, and that is very difficult for a child to understand. Also, Amy doesn’t have the supportive friendship group that the child in the book has. In essence, the book presents a “best possible scenario” of a child living with a mentally ill parent, which is helpful in flagging up what support is available for families but quite sad for children who are powerless to access any of it. These descriptions of support services are the parts from which I felt my granddaughter disengaged. Reflecting on this left me feeling quite sad for her and other children who are denied critical aspects of healthy childhood that their peers take for granted. Thankfully, Amy does have family who can help her think psychologically about what it is like having an “up and down mum”.  As Amy says, “It helps the child to have his grandad when his mum is not well and they can talk about things together. I am glad to have my nana and grandad.” Young children are egocentric; they think that they are the cause of everything. To have a parent who spends her days in bed can leave a child feeling unworthy of care; having a manic or intolerant parent can mean a child might imagine she is the cause of her parent’s problems. Open, honest an age-appropriate conversations about a parent’s mental health can create greater understanding and compassion in the relationship and relieve the burden of blame and shame that many children feel. In all of these areas this book would be a useful conversation opener and guide.
 
It is worth acknowledging the glorious illustrations. This is a lovely looking book, bright, detailed and really engaging for kids. I would have liked to have seen some more realistic representations of what this child lives with. I think that might have felt more real for child readers. Pictures can speak volumes, we see lots of the positives in this book so it would have been good for the illustrator to have sneaked in some of the mess that kids could look at or ignore if it all felt too much. Amy and I were able to discuss some of the facial expressions but beyond that there were no signifiers of a chaotic home life.
 
The final word goes to Amy, who probably speaks for most children when she says that, “The boy loves it when his mum is fine but he loves her anyway. We just love our mums however they are, although it’s nice when they are well. I like it best when my mum is in a good mood.”

Reviewed by Amy (age 8) and her NanaUp and Down Mum

Little Grey Fox written by Nikki Linfield illustrated by Bettine Harris and edited by Robert Spottswood

​There are some books which stay with you because of the emotional content and because the truth in a story shared is so meaningful. Little Grey Fox is one of those.

The author, Nikki Linfield’s career path shows her dedication to working with children and young people. She is an Art Therapist and DDP practitioner.
​Nikki’s story of Little Grey Fox is beautifully illustrated by Bettine Harris.

The illustrations, like the words, convey feelings in the story wonderfully. The story takes readers and listeners through heart break and slow, gentle healing. It’s the story of a journey and one of hope.
 
Little Grey Fox cannot stay with his birth family. He moves families and shame grows within him. He then moves to the Red Fox family and they begin to understand each other. Slowly, with time, acceptance and growing trust, sense is made of Little Grey Fox’s story as it is told through thoughts and feelings. Nikki Linfield’s skills in DDP shine through in her story telling.
 
The book is designed to be read together. There is a ‘last note from ‘Little Grey Fox’ at the end in which Little Grey Fox writes:

If it does not feel exactly right, then I hope you can talk to your Grown-Up and tell them how it is for you.’
 
A beautifully told story which I certainly will share with many families I support because I know they will find so many parts of it to connect with.
 
Dr Amelia Taylor
Child and Educational Psychologist
Theraplay Practitioner and Trainer
Lifecycles Psychology.

The Strange and Curious Guide to Trauma by Sally Donovan

From a personal viewpoint as an adoptive parent, coming to an understanding of the potential impact of trauma on a child’s emotional and social development was crucial if I was to meet my children’s needs. 

Subsequently, the desire to somehow share that understanding with my children and help them appreciate where their behaviours may be coming from also became a goal.  If only this skilfully told story by Sally Donovan had been around a few years ago!
 

Cleverly illustrated and formatted, Donovan’s latest story, aimed at 8 to 12 year olds, provides the perfect vehicle through which to gently explain and highlight the key concepts around trauma and attachment.  From Wendy the ‘wonky’ carrot to Courtney Cortisol, a number of likeable characters are used playfully yet also as representations of serious aspects in trauma-informed approaches. They are weaved through the story of Ordinary Jo as we witness how he reacts to his encounter with a Baboon on Baboon Tuesday.  Indeed it is the careful blending of the actual words (trauma, adrenaline, amygdala etc.) with characterisations and names which makes this book so accessible and powerful. 

​Trauma is such an overused word yet a concept which is often not fully understood in all its complexity.  Here it is not disguised nor oversimplified, rather it is broken down tactfully and presented in chunks which can be easily understood by young people.  Use of the correct terminology, albeit in an age-appropriate manner, is important if we are to begin the process of fully informing our young people about their brains.
 
Donovan also takes us back to early childhood as she describes how babies’ brains develop.  Lego is used as a metaphor here in one of the many nods to children and young people’s realities which make this story so relatable.  Images support the writing extremely well and there is clever use of fonts to reinforce key messages.  There are ‘remembering boxes’ and bullet points as well as a comprehensive and succinctly expressed list of possible behaviours of trauma-experienced children. 
 
Undoubtedly, children and adults alike will learn much from this short story into our ‘inside life’.  As Donovan states, we are ‘team human’ and it is about time that we realise that learning about trauma is indeed a ‘superpower’.  

Reviewed by Christine Hadfield

‘All Are Welcome’ by Alexander Penfold and Suzanne Kaufman
 
I found ‘All Are Welcome’ to be a joyous book celebrating everything wonderful about being an individual in a simple and fun format. 

It tackles inclusion and diversity in a child friendly manner following a day in the life of school class, making it easy for a young reader to relate and understand the similarities in their own day to day life.

My child loved the bright illustrations and fun jumping off the pages celebrating our different cultures, abilities, and backgrounds whilst recognising that we all have shared experiences and needs that bind us together.

We loved reading the book and shouting out ‘All are Welcome Here’ at the end of each page. It encouraged talking about why it’s good have our own special story behind what makes us unique and why having a different story from our friends helps children experience new things, be more adventurous, learn from each other, and embrace positivity through diversity. 

‘All Are Welcome’ is a fun, colorful and happy book, and my child’s current favorite book to show friends.
 
 Jane Cooper

''My name is not Refugee’ by Kate Milner
 
Trying to explain and answer questions from children about war and how it affects ordinary people can be difficult, I want to be honest without over burdening their young minds. 

‘My name is not Refugee’ allowed me to talk about the refugee crisis in a simple, easy to understand format that allowed the children to empathise, think, and discuss questions raised in the book without becoming too upsetting for young minds.

The story is based around a mother explaining to her child that they needed to leave their home, it shows highlights the difficulties in leaving behind loved ones and friends through a child eye’s as well as the practicalities, and then their journey to find safety.

It is handled wonderfully by the author with direct simple language and questions poised to the reader to help think over how they may feel in that situation. 

The illustrations are beautiful and reflect the hardships and danger faced without overwhelming the reader, my older child (aged 8) responded to the illustrations with observations on how the little family in the book would feel based off drawings and my younger child (aged 6) on the practicalities raised in the questions posed as we went through the story. 

The book itself handles a difficult, tragic subject in a sensitive manner and can be understood on different levels opening a wider conversation but also on the basic level bringing humanity back into the word refugee. 

I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a way to answer little one’s question in a sensitive, simple, and empathetic manner.

Jane Cooper

​The Simple Guide to Sensitive Boys: How to nurture children and avoid trauma, by Betsy de Thierry. 
 
I love small clearly written and accessible guides, especially about heavy or difficult subjects. Betsy de Thierry’s books usually fit that brief and this one is no exception. Sensitive Boys landed on my desk at a time when I was working with a sensitive boy who felt he had to put on a helmet and wield a toy sword before he left the therapy room, and I had been reading All our Sons by Allan Schore (2016).
 
De Thierry is clearly aware of Schore’s research, which evidences that boys - not just the sensitive ones - need more nurture than most of us give them. Boys are born more stressed and harder to soothe than girls. It is more difficult for them to attach and their brains and regulatory capacities develop at a slower pace than girls. Common sense would then suggest that we have to lavish them with nurture to avoid traumatizing them and yet our culture is one of “manning up” and telling hurt children that, “big boys don’t cry”. We punish, shame and humiliate our boys for their neurobiological vulnerabilities in the hope that it will toughen them up for a cruel world and then wonder why we find ourselves in the grip of toxic masculinity on a global scale. Clearly, as this book suggests, something has to shift!
 
With extra sensitive boys the problem worsens. De Thierry likens the sensitivity of some children to being “skinless”. It’s a wonderful metaphor for highlighting how tiny scratches can wound. I’m thinking of boys who cannot touch another child when lining up at school without feeling picked on, how falling in the playground can make them feel like the whole school day is unbearable, or contact sports send them into fight or flight. Add to that the sensory challenges, bullying and misunderstanding of children who are neurodiverse and we begin to see how some children who do not appear to have a trauma history can display symptoms of trauma. “But there is no trauma history,” is something I hear from school staff regularly when I do trauma training. Understanding how feeling things deeply, hurts deeply, can help us make sense of children’s responses to experiences that often seem normal.
 
This book delivers a lot for such a slim guide. There is information on the early years and the importance of managing children’s fears and anxieties instead of leaving them to deal with the tough stuff on their own.
 
The content is enhanced by short stories from sensitive boys about their own experiences and invitations to stop and reflect on some of our own perceptions of boys and ourselves in relation to them. As expected with de Thierry there are references to the power of shame and a lot on the importance of attachment and relational connection in terms of resilience building, soothing and regulation.
 
We are reminded of the number of men who suffer depression and anxiety yet never ask for help, perhaps because they feel to display such vulnerability is weakness. Sadly, we are also informed about the high rates of suicide in people over the age of 15 years, 78 per cent of whom are male.  The author encourages us to become agents of change by teaching emotional literacy and encouraging nurturing connections with boys and men. Most of all in this book, however, there is a sense of hope and an urge to believe in children, to support their psychosocial development and build their confidence. We are invited to help our children redefine the concept of masculinity, and to support them to use their gifts, gentleness, strengths and intelligence in ways that they can feel proud to be a boy and safe to live in the world.

Sheila Lavery

Therapeutic Parenting Jumbo Cards by Sarah Neish & Sarah Dillon
Initially I wondered about the use of cards for adults but the Therapeutic Parenting Jumbo cards are fabulous.  They are designed for parents or carers who are using therapeutic parenting techniques and for professionals who are introducing others to this style of parenting. 



​These cards compliment the book ‘A quick guide to therapeutic parenting’ by Sarah Neish but can be used independently.  I would say, however, that a knowledge of therapeutic parenting would be beneficial as the cards act as useful reminders of concepts, principles and parenting techniques, but do not provide in-depth explanations or theory.

The 56 cards come in a sturdy box and are a lovely quality.  They cover a wide range of issues and topics and each card features a statement or quote from Sarah Neish’s book.  They have a cartoon picture on one side with a statement or quote relating to an element of therapeutic parenting, then on the flip side there is a more detailed but concise explanation. 

Each card is numbered and belongs one of 9 categories which are outlined in the useful booklet which comes with the cards.  Another useful and thoughtful addition is that each category is also given a separate colour, so can be easily found in the pack if you are looking for cards pertaining to a specific topic.

I like the fact that difficult issues are tackled such as why others, including family and professionals, can often sit in judgement (Category 3 ‘Ignorance Is Not Bliss: The Unhelpful Others’) or that progress is sometimes hard to see and measure (Category 6 ‘Where Did That Come From?! Progress Isn’t Always Linear).   Encouraging parenting tips are provided within each category and often come at the end of each concise explanation.

The cards are a useful tool for those times when the going is tough.  It is during times of stress when something easy to access is needed to help us to hold onto what we have learnt and why therapeutic parenting really works. You could choose some cards pertinent to what you and your child are experiencing and have them close to hand to give you encouragement.  They may also be useful to help others understand certain behaviours or difficulties a child might be experiencing. There are many different ways these cards could be used and there are suggestions in the booklet. One thing Sarah Neish points out is that these cards are for adults and I would agree with her that you may not want your child to read them as it could induce negative feelings such as shame.

Although the cards are designed for use within the field of developmental trauma they could be used for any parents who want to adopt a therapeutic approach and could be useful for children with developmental disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder where therapeutic parenting can really help.

I know that I will be using these cards in my work with parents and carers to help them think about some of the more difficult concepts and would recommend them for anyone working with or caring for children who have experienced developmental trauma. 
​
Lesley Bell
Therapeutic Social Worker

My Intense Emotions Handbook: Manage Your Emotions and Connect Better with Others
by Sue Knowles, Bridie Gallagher and Hannah Bromley. 
Illustrated by Emmeline Pidgen

This is a great book. The authors condense huge amounts of beneficial information into just over 200 easy-to-read pages.

​From the outset, the tone is set for what the reader can expect; wonderful concepts introduced and revisited from chapter to chapter to build on what went before or stand alone. Concepts such as emotions are not good or bad, they just are, the importance of feeling OK in our own bodies and why emotions are vital and helpful.
Notice the why here? This book not only delivers on understanding intense emotions and learning how to manage them but why the authors make their many suggestions. In the process, I think this empowers the reader.
 
Strategies on managing emotions and relationships are abundant. Lots of practical tips for people who wish to ‘do’ something, like practicing mentalizing by watching a foreign language movie clip to see if I can work out what a character is intending, thinking and feeling, with the idea of staying curious rather than making assumptions. There is also information and explanations on letting feelings just ‘be’ and I particularly loved the chapter about riding your emotions. The authors interweave humour and often use personal examples to emphasise a point. This works, as it shows them not in the sole role of educator but as humans experiencing intense emotions too.
 
Aimed at young people aged 14+, I personally think anyone who wants to understand the role of trauma, their relationships, attachment and how their own past influences their emotions and responses to them, will find something helpful in this book.
 
Review by Jane Burton
Counsellor. Trainer.

Superparenting: Boost your therapeutic parenting through 10 transformative steps by Dr Amber Elliott. 
 
The Super parenting approach involves learning and using Empathic Behaviour Management (EBM) to parent with empathy and connection while still trying to guide children towards more acceptable ways of communicating their needs. To understand EBM you’ll have to read the book but basically think Dan Hughes, Dan Siegel and even take yourself back 20 years to Caroline Archer and Christine Gordon, who set us all on the right track for therapeutically parenting survivors of childhood neglect and abuse.
 
Parents familiar with attuned empathic parenting know only too well that relationship is the key to regulating and repairing childhood hurts and that traditional behavioural management strategies are ineffective at best and more often than not, re-traumatising. In reality, seasoned adopters may be so familiar with the concept and the daily practice of therapeutic parenting that we forget it’s not the norm for most other parents or indeed many adults who engage with children. Regular reports from my granddaughter about, “what happened in school today” indicate that, sadly, shame-inducing, punitive reward and consequence approaches are still alive and well! Reflecting on that, I wondered what Amber Elliot could bring to an already well laden table of therapeutic parenting books…
 
Super parenting is so called for a couple of reasons. The first and most obvious one is that children with trauma histories need parents who have super-sized capacity in terms of understanding, empathy, psychological mindedness, resilience, tolerance, advocacy, etc. For me it also taps into the notion that as adopters and carers we are often expected to be superhuman, to “turn children’s lives around”, to do it quickly,  and without any psychological cost to ourselves. Thankfully, Amber Elliott recognises that our own stuff – our childhood experiences, attachment styles and cultural conditioning – can get in the way of the best intentions when emotions run high and the parenting rewards are few. She uses a tortoise and hare analogy based on fast and slow life history theory to explain how we act and react as parents because we parents have histories too you know and they are definitely going to get triggered by our kids. She identifies the need for awareness, self-acceptance, curiosity and compassion when dealing with our own shame and mistakes. This balance of meeting our own needs as well as our children’s is an important and often understated part of the parenting role. It was good to see the author give it the attention it deserved. Good also to see shame get addressed – it’s a big player in our family dynamics and is often avoided in parenting conversations, which probably says something about how society as a whole uses shame.
 
Dr Elliott considers the main obstacles to children being motivated by rewards and consequences: regulation of stress responses, poor impulse control, lack of trust, the power and control dynamic, and shame, being key. For readers familiar with DDP and the Dan Hughes PACE/PLACE approach, this will not be new territory but Dr Elliott presents the content in a helpful and logical way. Using the 10-step approach she explores family situational examples to illustrate how the relentless everyday stuff can wear you down and how things can get worse when we overreact or rely on praise, reward charts or relational deprivation for example. Best of all, there’s helpful suggestions that could turn around even really challenging situations.

Regulation of self and child, minimising shame while maintaining connection and boundaries are essential to the success of Superparenting. Parents (and teachers) often wonder how we can maintain boundaries and be flexible enough to meet the needs of the child. Flexibility does not mean giving in, it’s more about bending without breaking and that’s why we need to keep our own self- regulation and intersubjectivity skills in top condition. Without flexibility we find ourselves engaging in control battles that frankly we rarely win. It’s also helpful to remember that parenting is a marathon. The author does not offer any magic bullet approaches or fixes of any kind. I say that with relief, not as a criticism.
 
Superparenting proposes 10 helpful steps to transformation, while acknowledging that transformation can take time and can look different for everyone. It allows for the fact that we will all screw up (again and again) and that’s okay, relationships are built through rupture and repair - as long as the parents model repair – another reason to befriend our shame!  And, of course, there is a place for rewards in all family relationships. We all need our efforts rewarded and the author gives examples of inspiring and hopeful relational rewards that can work to motivate children and young people without the usual overtones of power and control.
 
At over 200 pages there is lot of reading here for busy parents and Amber Elliott is aware of this. She bookends the content with reminders to use it as a guide rather than a cover-to-cover must-read.  I like the suggestion that parents keep using techniques of their own that work as long as they align with the five-point nuts and bolts checklist. (Obviously, some techniques might look like they work when children are young because they secure obedience, but fear and shame can do that too). The super-short checklist neatly reminds us of what therapeutic approaches look like. All in all, I think this is a valuable text for new parents, or more experienced parents who have discovered their current strategies might need reviewing. It would also have real value for groups exploring and sharing parenting approaches.
 
Sheila Lavery
Adoptive parent, art psychotherapist and trauma educator