Book of the Month April 2024 - Healing Relational Trauma Workbook:

Healing Relational Trauma Workbook: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in Practice by Daniel A. Hughes and Kim S. Golding 
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“We cannot change another but we can change the way we respond”

Overview; This book offers many aspects of DDP

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• An introductory view of DDP with a “Taste of PACE” for a curious professional.
• Examples of Theory into practice which you can read in one go.
• A book to slowly dip in and out of reflecting on areas relevant to yourself and families you work alongside.
• Continued professional development in exploring connections and potential areas of disconnection in our work using open reflective questions.
• The importance of honouring our own attachment and life stories.
• Time to remember the importance of getting to know each family you are working with and discovering the sense of joy in these relationships.
• It brings into the conscious mind conversations about intersectional inclusivity through training, supervision, face to face work and interviews

As I opened the book, I was relieved to see how well spaced out it was with diagrams and key point charts. I like the pacing of it with spaces for DDP peer group and personal reflections. I would like to be able to copy the reflective pages to use and reuse. For me the book really makes me continually reflect on myself as a DDP practitioner. Each chapter has focused areas that flow clearly.

This is a practical book with a balance of theory, reflection, suggested conversations, real interviews and practice points. 

I like that the book invites self-reflection and offers starting points for our own inner supervisor/peer supervision. As I work through the book, I am pulled into an inner dialogue. The reflective space invites us to walk in our own shoes with PACE and alongside families’ dyadic journeys. In a sense we walk together following and leading a child, developing a greater understanding of their individual stories and generational stories likening PACE to 4 posts of the house “Te whare Tapa Wha” (spiritual, emotional physical and family).

In DDP level 2 trainees explore their own attachment histories and here there are opportunities to deepen our own attachment journeys—exploring the visible and the hidden. The activities invite the reader to stay open and engaged with themselves. In DDP, Pace helps us to connect and get to the heart of each other--as the Maoridom states “What is the most important thing? It is the people” so that we can stay with families and understand all elements of diversity, seeking racial equity and social justice. I think the questions in the workbook can help stay with our own curiosity.

When I completed my practicum; I wanted to get it right and do my best and find words that sounded like my consultant. I think a gift in the book is to encourage us to pause long enough to be in the room in the relationship with the family and what is happening in the room and let the words verbal and non-verbal come through the connection so being myself not trying to cognitively be someone who trained or supervises me. Through PACE we can really understand each family’s diversity, both the visible and invisible intersectionality.

I notice how the book weaves in PACE with sensitivity to culture race and diversity bringing in Polyvagal theories that affect all of us through a day. “Brain to brain synchrony” and “Relational enrichment” (Jon Baylin P59) I found this refreshing to read because of the open way this workbook acknowledges in digestible chunks neuroscience and Polyvagal theories that lie at the core of our work--

Am I regulated—Is the parent regulated—are they ready to co-regulate their child... is it safe enough to build relationships and trust... and hold a young persons’ voice “You never gave up on me”.

Slowing down to connect, the book journeys back-and-forth with relationships and connections holding an inner mirror to ourselves and our attachment histories. It affirms that in knowing ourselves we can become the ventral vagal anchor who can follow the child and parent in a dance of intersubjectivity both verbal and non-verbal. 

This book models how building safety with PACE (which may often be unspoken) allows open minded dialogues through joint intention and shared attention. Safety is different for each person and by accepting this it helps to understand how old survival strategies that were once essential may no longer needed as we stay connected with integrity.

There are paceful reflective conversations between practitioner and child. These are great reminders of the importance of connection to the feelings rather than the cognitive answers. In a conversation, I noticed I was thinking where is the parent in this conversation? I take it that in the young person& therapist sample conversation, the attachment figure(parent/carer) is not speaking-- they are there holding their child offering non-verbal coregulation to enable the conversations between therapist and child to be safely held-- and there in the next chapter were DDP practitioner and dyadic conversations.

At times, I am cautious when I read dialogues in a book because there are always different routes conversations can take in the moment, in the room and as they are about the relationships in the room. I hold in mind these conversations are an example of PACE and PACEful conversations. Each of us will find authentic words in the moment. I remember having tried to hold onto a consultant’s words in the room and notice how this moves me to a cognitive part of my brain losing the relationships in the room.

The book looks at where DDP PACE works with risk, safety, neurodiversity, world diversity and when an attachment figure is not available. These conversations will be things I dip back into when I want to think alongside lived experiences.

The interviews from care experienced grown-ups help reflect on how DDP may be viewed by young people, and parents. I hope that these interviews really help practitioners to really slow down, build empathy and understand lived experiences. 

These conversations left me wondering how it can feel even being asked to go to therapy and what choice a child and family have? How does a family actually consent to DDP—do we really explain what it is and what it will touch? We may believe it will help them but how does it feel? How parents feel being such an integral part of DDP.

The Interviews from marginalized Special interest groups represent views across many sections of diversity and inclusivity. This widens a lens view of DDP exploring outside of our known worlds. It opens views on how it feels being on DDP training courses and undergoing our practicums and looks at how we can support building trust and safety. I hope this insight helps to develop DDP practice, supervision and training.

I am struck by how sharing parts of their own attachment histories makes Dan and Kim real, with lived experiences. I think the interviews with members of the DDP community help issues to be noticed and named. I really notice the genuine care to help us all grow together. The book is a continual reminder no matter where we are on our DDP journey of the importance of needing to be understood with PACE.

As practioners/carers/parents/teachers/Social workers/ care teams our best hope is to walk the walk with our families. Within the DDP community the book shares hope of helping children and families who have faced so much distress to have and to feel worth, to develop trust and inbuilt safety through PACE with coregulation. In finding this empathic connection in DDP, I hope the book can share insight into deepening support for all families building their lives and supporting their children making the wisest choices for themselves.

In summary; this book offers ideas to support our work and to encourage peer group discussions across our networks. I hope reading and sharing this book will encourage more people to find out about PACE and ways to bring DDP to their organisation and practice as well as deepening the work of those of us who work in the DDP community.

I hope that this honours and respects all I have learnt in the book on my first read and all I will continue to learn when I pick it up to connect in. Thank you for this opportunity Cairnsmoir.
Nikki Linfield

 About the reviewer
I was delighted to be asked to offer a review and then felt anxious -- How can I review Dan and Kim’s book? Writing a book review was a challenge, I struggled with English at school. This meant I needed to track through the book in order. I find reading even harder than it was at school since my cancer journey! I often highlight and underline poignant points to me and questions and really this would have looked like a rainbow! I work in private practice, initially qualified as a teacher, then through recovery from my own mental ill health journey I was led to train as an Art Therapist. After over 20 years of practice, I was fortunate that DDP level 1 and 2 was offered through my NHS work and started my practicum journey

• Bed hons, Art Therapist certified in DDP
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