Play Is The Way: Child development, early years and the future of Scottish education. Edited Sue Palmer

This compact volume is a rich and engaging resource for educators, health professionals, policy makers and parents which sets out a comprehensive argument for establishing a relationship-centred and play-based education for Scotland’s under 7 year olds. Edited by Sue Palmer, who has gathered an impressive array of voices from education and health professions, the book summarises and expands the campaign of Upstart Scotland whose aims include establishing a statutory play-based ‘kindergarten stage’ for Scottish children and stressing the importance of play as a natural part of human development. 

Throughout the book, there is a thorough examination of existing Scottish guidance and legislation on early years education and care, and an overt frustration at the current mismatch between what is on paper and existing practice in nurseries and schools.
The reader will find the book divided into three sections.  The first considers ‘What we know about where we want to go’ and is a fascinating insight into the cultural and historical barriers in Scotland regarding the efficacy of play in early education.  The myth of early acceleration is skilfully outlined through examining the historical contexts that have brought about the persistent but unfounded belief that educating children as young as 4 or 5 years in the 3 Rs (Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic) is the most beneficial for later outcomes,  and that the stubborn suspicion of the validity of play is part of Scottish identity, proud of its early start to formal education. Psychological and neurobiological studies are set out to highlight how human brains are built from the bottom up ie gradually building connections on top of existing foundations of understanding so that incoming information has something to grasp onto.  Trying to accelerate this process by top-down pedagogy goes against the natural development of human brains yet the myth of starting early seems engrained not just in Scotland but throughout the UK.

Section two sets out to consider ‘How can we get to where we want to be?’ with real examples of existing projects leading the way and projected scenarios of what might be possible including harnessing the power of parents.  I was particularly drawn to the arguments for raising the status of the workforce in the early year’s arena and an emphasis on the relational experiences needed to build the foundations for literacy and numeracy before formal learning begins.  As a play therapist, I am delighted to read segments about the vital role of play for children’s social, physical and emotional development; that play is not just a fun way of learning cognitive concepts but is the fundamental language through which children first understand themselves and interact with the world.

The final section examines the wider context in which the authors’ arguments sit and the challenges ahead.  A prime block seems to be the persistence of the Scottish government to require formal assessment of P1 students (age 6 years) rather than moving towards more holistic assessments such as the Early Development Instrument (EDI) which considers social, emotional and physical developments in addition to cognitive and language developments. EDI is already used by other English-speaking countries such as Canada and Australia but has not (yet) found a place in UK education.

In the 2nd edition of this book (it had two reprints within a few months of being published in October 2020), there is a super additional chapter from Shaddai Tembo in which he challenges the often positive and idealised environment in early years settings which may be masking ongoing inequalities and not giving space for recognition of celebrating diversity in all its forms right from the start of a young child’s educational experience. Play, he argues, is a means by which young children can take flight into aspects of themselves that may be constrained in the culture of their setting.  A powerful read which comes from a standpoint of experience and compassion and is well worth a read on its own.
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The excellent reference bank at the end demonstrates the robustness of the research related to the topic of play in early years education and in itself provides a rich source of further reading.  Whilst stemming from Scotland and referring to particular cultural and historical aspects of early education in that country, the book is of equal importance to those of us working elsewhere in the United Kingdom.  I smiled when reading that a copy was sent to every Member of the Scottish Parliament for Christmas!  Bravo to the whole team who put this gem of a compendium together during the pandemic lockdown and are keeping the momentum going for appropriate and life-enhancing early education and care. 
 
Julie McCann, London
Former primary school teacher, BAPT Play Therapist, Theraplay Practitioner, Visiting Lecturer Roehampton University

Working with Relational Trauma in Schools: An Educator's Guide to Using Dyadic Developmental Practice 
(Guides to Working with Relational Trauma Using DDP) by Louise Michelle Bombèr (Author), Kim Golding (Author), Sian Phillips (Author), Dan Hughes (Foreword)

A collaboration between practitioners of such esteem as Kim Golding, Sian Phillips and Louise Bomber cannot fail to grab the attention of anyone who seeks to learn more about developmental trauma. 



​The first of a planned series examining how DDP (Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy) principles can be applied in different settings, this book is a welcome addition to the growing literature on how schools and educators address the needs of vulnerable pupils.  The focus on the theory and practices associated with DDP and how these may be applied by school staff is timely and informative. 

The authors very much focus on educators rather than just teachers as they are keen proponents of the team pupil approach, something which is crucial if trauma-informed approaches are to become embedded in whole school practice and ethos.  The premise of the book is that educators are not therapists, nor should they be expected to be, but that using the principles of DDP and accepting them as a ‘way of being’ is essential if we are to address the needs of our vulnerable pupils.  It is enlightening, then, that the educator remains at the heart of the theory explored in the book.

Chapters 1 to 3 introduce some key concepts providing theory in typically easy-to-access manner.  We learn about blocked trust, the reasons behind it but, most importantly here, how it can impact on a daily basis within the classroom.  Intersubjectivity and the powerful, though often overlooked, consequences of shame are discussed in chapter 2 and, again, they are skilfully related to what happens between educator and pupil.  Where the writing is interspersed with specific examples it is most impactful as we find ourselves recognising behaviours we may have encountered in our own experience. Moving on to how we may address these behaviours, chapter 3 looks at building connections encouraging educators to be ‘trust builders’ and ‘emotional detectives’.  The analogy of the river of integration in which we are tasked with remaining open, engaged and flexible is a useful one while the section on mind-mindedness reminds us of the skills we can all develop. 
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Many readers of this book will be familiar with the need for PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy) in our interactions with young people but chapter 4 goes beyond simple information-giving and prompts us to consider how we demonstrate and live PACE as a philosophy rather than label it as a set of strategies.  Like driving a car, the authors write, each of the skills involved are crucial parts of an even more significant ‘whole’.  Similarly, it is not something that can be learned overnight.  Chapter 5 provides a very useful set of frequently asked questions which heads of service might find helpful for training purposes.  Chapter 6 looks on the surface like a collection of ideas but here we consider, amongst other areas, the use of praise and rewards with vulnerable children.  The language used throughout is about ‘supporting’ behaviour rather than ‘managing’ it and practices are critiqued constructively with very clear and thoughtful advice provided. 

Chapters 7 to 10 offer further practical advice but steer clear of doomed-to-fail ‘tips for teachers’ instead asking us to consider how we may adapt our mindsets and predominant modus operandi in order to build relationships, create safe learning environments and become authoritative educators.   That said, the consistent message remains that this is no easy or simple task and that the challenges faced when trying to do this can be immense.  The authors accept that all of this is often easier said than done and they are clear that educators need time, self-compassion and support from colleagues.  Far from being a supplementary thought, as is often the case, this point is reiterated in particular with chapters 11 and 12 where we are asked to consider our own attachment patterns and how we may look after ourselves.  

It is here where this book excels.  That is, the authors have managed to steer clear of the sometimes idealistic-sounding advice that educators get and produce a work that acknowledges the challenges, places the educator at the centre and offers sensitive, practical and realistic guidance. The interlacing of examples illustrates both how common and understandable it is to ‘get it wrong’ as well as how scenarios may be approached differently.  Ideas are presented concisely and a number of broad strategies, like ‘follow-lead-follow’ and ‘rupture-repair’, are clear and difficult to contest.  Practitioners with some knowledge of DDP and PACE as well as those who are beginning this particular journey will both benefit from this work.  A highly recommended read!

Dr Christine Hadfield
Lecturer in Teacher Education at the University of Glasgow.  
I worked as a secondary school teacher in England for 10 years before becoming an adoptive mum, moving home to Glasgow and educating myself in all things attachment and trauma.  I now work at the School of Education, University of Glasgow where I teach Modern Languages and Health and Wellbeing. 

The Teacher’s Introduction to Attachment: Practical Essentials for Teachers, Carers and School Support Staff by Nicola Marshall

Teaching colleagues and school support staff are frequently in search of knowledge, understanding and skills to assist them in meeting the needs of some of our most vulnerable children- those who have experienced early developmental trauma. 

Within education circles some would argue that meeting the needs of this group of children presents one of the greatest challenges to fostering an inclusive education system and to realising the aspirations of Getting it Right for Every Child.

Nicola Marshall’s book is a helpful addition to the range of resources designed to support staff and carers to respond positively to the often complex challenges presented by children with attachment difficulties. 

She describes her book as a “down to earth, practical and accessible look at the world of attachment and trauma, particularly in educational settings” – and that is precisely what it is. 

While drawing on the work of many well-known writers and practitioners in the field, notably Dan Hughes, Bruce Perry, Kate Cairns and Louise Bomber amongst others, Marshall expresses the hope that the reader will find that her book comes from a real place of experience. The experience she refers to is that of being the parent of three adopted children, who she describes as being the reason for the book; having given her the inspiration to try to help others understand the impact of early trauma on children.

                 “The key to most things in life is awareness and understanding.
                   Once you have that the strategies are easier to find”. 

While there can be little doubt of the truth of this statement, many teachers may assert that while the understanding is essential, it is not sufficient, and that what is needed in schools is the means to implement practical effective strategies on a day to day basis. The fact that Nicola Marshall manages to cover both theory and practical strategy, and more importantly link them meaningfully in a relatively short 147 pages should add to the appeal of this book for busy school staff. 

The book is divided into four parts. Part 1 looks at theory and starts from the perspective of some of the puzzling behaviours and responses of traumatised children, acknowledging that we need to ‘take a step back’ and look at what may have happened in the lives of children before they came to school, to really understand the feelings behind the behaviours they present. This is a fundamentally important point, highlighting as it does that effective support for children needs to look beyond and behind behaviour. Teachers and other school staff frequently report that ‘traditional’ and often tried and tested approaches are simply not effective and this can lead to frustration and hopelessness for staff and children alike.

This section covers trauma, its meaning and causes as well as describing the attachment cycle, brain development, the consequences of disrupted attachment and attachment styles. Marshall acknowledges that there is more to say on this subject but her hope is that there is sufficient information in this to allow an understanding and that readers will be inspired to seek a greater depth of understanding through the references and resources provided. Although I have some reservations about describing attachment styles in a resource such as this, as it can reinforce the risk of tendencies to ‘classify’ and label children, there is enough in the later sections of this book to counter- balance any such propensity.  

Part 2 focuses on the Guiding Principles of working to support children. In this section the principles outlined are – Relationships over Programmes, Emotional Age over Chronological Age, Structure over Chaos, Time in over Time out and Sensory Less over Sensory More.  These sound principles for working with children who have experienced trauma and disrupted attachment are helpful for practitioners not only in thinking about the needs of children but also in providing a framework for considering the application of supportive approaches in their particular context and setting.  As such they are useful in helping staff and carers to begin to think about the practical application of strategies with the children they work with on a day to day basis. 

Part 3 goes on to focus specifically on areas of concern in an effort to deepen understanding of the needs of children and some strategies which may be of benefit. This is a practical and helpful overview of some of the main issues and builds effectively of the previous sections covering toxic shame, identity, empathy, trust, control and self-reliance, self-regulation, memory and organisation and changes and transition. Each chapter considers the possible underlying causes of concern, examines the implications for the child and his/her development, the signs that the particular area may be a difficulty for the child and focuses on what can be done to help. It manages to give greater insight into the complex and puzzling behaviours which can perplex (and sometimes defeat staff and carers) as well as offering advice about effective strategies to support children to overcome early adversity and settle to learn. 

Marshall provides examples and weaves some of her own experiences throughout.  This gives the book the flavour of what she describes as ‘heart knowledge as well as head knowledge’ and as such will resonate with those experiencing the challenges of living with or working with traumatised children.
The final section of the book picks up some of the areas not readily captured by the previous parts and looks at, for example, the important issues of secondary stress, communication and triggers.  

It also has a short section on rewards in school – an area that can be especially difficult within a whole school context. Marshall suggests that there is a need for a conceptual shift towards a relational approach which focuses on encouraging expression and integration in order to help a child feel safe, nurtured and good about themselves. She also makes some important points about expectations of change and the resilience and tenacity needed by staff and carers to stick with children in their journey to overcome early adverse experience.

In summary, Nicola Marshall’s book is an easy to read and helpful contribution to the burgeoning resource for school staff and carers in their efforts to help children who have experienced trauma and disrupted attachment to flourish; and as its cover attests, will be a welcome addition to any school’s staff library.

Alison MacDonald
Principal Educational Psychologist  

8 Keys to Building Your Best Relationships by Daniel A. Hughes

As a relationship counsellor, this book has impressed in the way it distils the roots and processes that so often lead to difficulties and conflict in relationships. It also offers insight and hope for relationships that can be very secure and fulfilling. 

Dan Hughes has translated theoretical concepts making them accessible to a wide audience, including the latest science behind relationships, making it a tool for husbands, wives, friends, lovers, professionals, business people, and parents. It would also add greatly to personal and social development curriculum within schools.

Personally I love models that break things down into smaller steps which build cohesive, integrated meaning. Dan does this really well and has combined his experience and understanding with lots of short case study examples and scenarios to make it easy to appreciate the relevance and importance of 
what he contributes here. As a reader already familiar with attachment theory I found the description of attachment styles much more easily understood and applicable to everyday life. 

Chapter and Key no 1 – Learn Why Attachment Matters lays out clearly the authority and standing of attachment theory, it’s usefulness and ultimately links the patterns of relating found in both children and adults to the behaviour that, when explained so insightfully, makes so much sense.

Key No 2 is - Know your Autobiography and be willing to rewrite it. In this chapter he leads the reader through 10 themes that help establish a stronger sense of who we are and the life factors that have contributed to it. Dan explains how re-experiencing the past can give new meaning and alter the influence these have on our present lives. A conclusion drawn is “….if you’ve been able to make sense of the events in your life – and the nature of your most influential relationships – and then develop a story that is organised and interwoven with different elements, you tend to be in the best position to develop healthy relationships.”

In Key no 3 the important areas of Brain and Biology are explored with reference to prominent researchers. Dan manages to craft explanations which make understanding concepts such as interpersonal neurobiology and social engagement remarkably easy. He gives everyday, credible examples to highlight his ideas which allow the reader to get a felt sense of what he attempts to explain.  It is becoming more and more accepted that neuroscience underpins attachment, and therefore relationships are a part of brain function. A key part of this chapter has to be a summary explanation of Dan’s signature PACE approach using Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, with poignant examples to support and lay a foundation for how this can and does work in supporting anyone experiencing relationship difficulties.

Key no 4 looks at Building your Reflective Capacity. Here you are invited to consider a range of questions designed to cultivate a conscious presence within relationships. What do relationships mean to me? What am I like in relationships? How do I reflect on others? These questions drill down into more specific questions which tease out what we might be looking for and expecting from our relationships. These questions are designed to increase our awareness of both what we might look for and what we ourselves bring to our relationships.

Key number 5 starts with an example of a young female professional who had difficulties managing her emotions within friendship. This introduces the reader to an interesting chapter called – Build Your Emotional Competence. Here again we get a chance to consider “the mind” and how neuroscience has brought greater understanding of emotions and the complexities of brain function. Dan goes on to explain the wider body systems including the links between our heart and gut which all play a part in felt experience. I found the differentiation between Shame and Guilt useful with great insights into how and why these emotions become established within our emotional self through our early experiences. Looking at how relationships develop provides a helpful way of considering the tensions which ebb and flow in relationships around conflicting emotions and the common causes that lie beneath. Practical exercises support the building of the three characteristics of emotional competence – Knowing what you feel, communicating your feelings and managing your feelings. 

To Master Effective Communication is Key number 6 which looks at reciprocity within the context of taking turns in communication. I like the way Dan describes the pre-requisites of effective communication as an ability to listen and more importantly the ability to stay open and engaged, avoiding defensiveness. This is again well illustrated by examples that help the reader appreciate the different patterns of communication that emerge as relationships grow and change. Developing capacities like saying what you mean and asking for what you want are considered to highlight some subtleties of more effective communication. I love the way the reader is invited to consider the influence of non verbal communication which so often leads to misunderstanding and conflict. Our voice and our physiology often let us down and the examples offered help to understand how this can lead to conflict but also be a very effective part on the solution.

In addressing the reparative work Key No 7 is aptly titled – Tinker and Repair. Accepting that even the healthiest of relationships have problems, and as human beings we will all make mistakes at some point, this chapter looks at what we do, and indeed how we might deal better, when problems arise. The reassurance given around mistakes helps the reader feel OK about personal challenges and experiences.  “People in relationships need to be able to repair whatever conflicts emerge if the relationships are to become truly meaningful and lasting.” Dan goes onto to point out that “Avoiding conflicts leads to a more polite but superficial relationship,” going on to explain what he feels are the fundamental points about relationship tinkering and repair. These are headlined as – Decide if the relationships is more important than the conflict, Remember the importance of the relationship, Remember that assigning blame is counterproductive, Don’t deny or avoid: Address the conflict, Don’t endlessly replay conflict, Remember that behaviour has more than one meaning, Address one conflict at a time and finally Mistakes happen: Say your sorry. Period. In summary our ability to tinker and repair is enhanced when our focus moves towards the opportunity to strengthen our relationships rather than to any risk to its durability when we experience conflicts.

The final Key and Chapter is titled Balance Autonomy with Intimacy. An autonomous attachment, as explained in previous chapters, provides both the safety and satisfaction that promotes balance in relationships. However, to feel fulfilled across your life, that wider awareness needs to reflect that “You are not a passive recipient of your life; you are active in creating it.” All of the work from the previous Keys comes together here to illustrate how knowing yourself and the impact of your story provides the platform for meaning and understanding which grows awareness. The example given in this chapter highlights how relationship difficulties develop. The autonomy which was a factor in the partner’s attraction is readily given up changing the rhythm and dynamics of the relationship beginning a cycle of dependency pushing the other away. The moral of this is that no person can be the source of another’s happiness. It is in the sharing of the uniqueness of two autonomous individuals that rich and fulfilling relationships thrive. This does not mean other relationships can’t last or don’t work but it highlights clearly that they will not be deep and fulfilling. 

In pulling the collection of 8 Keys together Dan has provided a valuable tool for building and maintaining balance in autonomy and intimacy within relationships. In claiming that “Your past relationships do not have to dictate your future relationships”, strategies are offered to increase the meaning of relationships in your life and exercises to help you establish how you may have contributed to past relationships and where you have made relationships difficult. A framework is offered for starting a journal, recording important features of yourself which can be used to promote and preserve your autonomy while allowing space for important relationships to develop and grow. This is further developed with a longer term use of a journal being used to compare and guide us towards sustainable healthy relationships. In the final paragraph Dan reminds us of the importance of being Playful, Accepting, Curious and Empathic to keep us on track with both our relationship with our self and our relationships with others. I thoroughly recommend this book.

Kevin Denvir
Relationship Counsellor

No-Drama Discipline: The whole brain way to calm chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD  

As a trainer working in the area of attachment and trauma I spend my time talking to parents, teachers and other professionals about connecting with hurt children. While most people can see the need for attunement, empathy and forming positive relationships with insecurely attached children, the issue of discipline is invariably a stumbling block for many. We are so culturally conditioned to thinking about reinforcement as a way of increasing positive and reducing ‘bad’ behaviour that we struggle with the concept of relationship being more transformative than reinforcement. 

“Isn’t that rewarding bad behaviour?” “That’s mollycoddling!”, “How will they learn right from wrong?” are typical responses when you advocate ditching the time outs, star charts and punitive sanctions in favour of validating the feelings behind the behaviour to maintain regulation and encourage reflection. So I was delighted to review No Drama Discipline, which encourages parents to “avoid any discipline approach that is aggressive, inflicts pain, or creates fear or terror.” Readers familiar with Dan Hughes’ parenting attitude will probably have a few bells ringing by now and for me Dan Siegel is right up there with Dan Hughes in providing practical, straightforward and do-able parenting advice. In fact, there is a noticeable overlap between what Siegel, a neurobiologist, and Hughes, a dyadic developmental psychotherapist, advocate in parenting, namely connect with the child to correct the behaviour. Reassuringly, both Siegel and his co-author, psychotherapist, Tina Payne Bryson, are also parents.

So, before we even hit chapter 1, the authors ask us to forget all traditional concepts of discipline and open our minds to a different approach that will not only reap immediate rewards but also encourage children to become more reflective self-disciplined people in the long term. Interestingly, this is a book for all parents, not just those of us who are parenting traumatised children. It’s an example of how approaches, which work with the most difficult-to-parent children gradually, filter into the mainstream. 

Over the next six chapters and throughout the conclusion the authors take the reader on a journey from being a parent/carer/teacher who simply reacts to behaviour to a person who reflects on feelings and redirects the child to alternative ways of expression. They consider the 20 discipline mistakes even great parents make. Unsurprisingly, these include focusing too much on consequences instead of teaching and worrying about what other people think (who hasn’t been there?). Siegel references his famous hand model of the brain, which teaches children about their upstairs (cortex) and downstairs (mid and brainstem) parts of the brain and what it really means to flip your lid. He also discusses how we encourage what he has branded mindsight (empathy 
and reflection) in children. The book is peppered with simple, yet useful cartoons illustrating examples of good and not so good parenting responses and bursting with examples of what it means to be consistent yet flexible, validating rather than dismissive, and curious rather than lecturing, criticising or blaming. throughout it all, the authors are adamant that good discipline follows eight key principles: 
1. Discipline is essential. Children need clear, consistent boundaries
2. Effective discipline depends on a loving respectful adult – child relationship
3. Discipline means teach, not punish
4. We need to pay attention to the child’s feelings – misbehaving is usually about not handling big feelings very well.
5. Children need us most when they are behaving at their worst
6. We need to regulate children before they are ready to learn
7. We regulate through connecting and comforting
8. When children feel the comfort and connection they are more ready to take redirection.

It’s simple in essence, but it is hard to do this stuff all the time. Even the greatest parents get tired, hungry, ill, fed up and sick of it all and we tend to behave childishly when we don’t get our own needs met. Both authors acknowledge this and offer some examples of how they got it so horribly wrong with their own children. It’s brave of them to admit and there is a curious comfort in thinking, “hmm if Dan Siegel can lose his temper and swear I can’t be doing too badly.”

This is a book I would recommend for parents, carers, childminders, teachers, youth leaders, in fact anyone working with children and young people. It is authoritative, accessible, realistic and caring. Its not brilliantly written and it could probably be a bit shorter without losing anything of real value but as a book dedicated to discipline, its probably one of the best I’ve come across. 

Sheila Lavery