Theraplay® The Practitioner's Guide by Vivienne Norris and Dafna Lender 
 
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I was really excited to read Theraplay The Practitioners Guide by Vivien Norris and Dafna Lender as I found and continue to find Parenting with Theraplay really useful and I wasn’t disappointed.

The book starts with a description of the Theraplay Guiding Principles and beautifully describes what makes it such a powerful intervention, the reader is taken through the underlying principles with great attention to detail and practical explanations linked to the theory underpinning them. 

I think the short paragraph describing the simple Mantra of Theraplay attitude  ‘NO hurts, stick together, have fun and the adult is in charge’ gives a simple and memorable framework that those at the beginning of their theraplay journey will find invaluable and for those further in their journey a helpful reminder of what theraplay is.

The dimensions are helpfully described and I love the inclusion of considering raising the need to think about cultural differences between ourselves and our families and the different way they can impact and the exploration of adaptations needed for older children, physical or cognitive limitations, gender etc.  Not every situation can be listed but it’s helpful to raise this need especially in the UK as my experience has been that adaptation of some description has invariably been needed in my work with families.

The table which constitutes the summary at the end of this chapter is a really helpful quick reminder of what the practitioner needs to hold in mind in different situations in sessions, the explanations illustrate key pointers for good practice clearly based on the theoretical principles underlying.  It will be an invaluable resource to dip into for a quick reminder both prior to sessions and afterwards when reviewing the video footage and I think will be invaluable in helping one think through where their practice can be improved.

I loved the chapter called Nuts and Bolts which takes you step by step through using Theraplay, as well as giving the ideal practice it helpful raises questions that help to identify where adaptations are needed and the examples used illustrate the points made clearly.  It was great to see how the importance of the therapist relationship with the parents is highlighted and the challenges that this can bring. Again there were great examples which really bring the theory to life such as the importance of a simple as a cup of tea in offering nurture and building relationship.

It really feels as though you have someone walking besides you as you read through the steps that lead to your first theraplay session.   Again the joy is in the detail of the writing and the thoughtful examples used that illustrate the work so well.  The careful consideration given to each step makes it seem so simple but the practicalities and the theory are written in such a way that they prompt both the new and experienced practitioner to be thoughtful about their practice and remind you how complex this intervention is when it is truly delivered.   The decisions made at each stage of the work from the parent feedback, the sessions themselves to the importance of working with parents and the challenges this can bring are worked though so that the reader gets a real sense of what’s needed from them.

The chapter titled Theraplay Outtakers and Bloopers – What No One Ever Told You is great encouragement to us all and illustrates how we all learn from practicing and how important it is to never stop looking at the detail when preparing our sessions or feedback or examining what we did.  That we all get it wrong sometimes but if we remember the Theraplay Mantra it will be okay.
The examples illustrate that there’s always learning, that the best plans need adaptation, that children can be unpredictable, the need for safety and the practicing with theraplay attitude are illustrated again and again and how using the theraplay guiding principles allows what can feel like failure to be turned round to positive experiences for parent and child. 

Part 3 looks at Becoming a Theraplay Practitioner and It is helpful to have such a detailed look at what it means to become a theraplay practitioner, what one needs to consider if one wants to takes one’s practice forward.  The challenges that one might face and how to think about them within the context of theraplay.

There’s a super chapter on the supervision process, the practicalities of supervision as well as what might come up personally and the process required to become certified is fully explained.

There are very helpful examples of supervision forms which will be invaluable to those considering whether qualification is the right path for them as well as invaluable for those that in the process of qualifying.

And finally a wonderful array of resources to further support those working with theraplay.  I was so pleased to see the inclusion of how to work with Sensory regulation and the adapations that might be needed.  And it is helpful to have a chapter addressing the need for reflective dialogue in some cases and to have examples of where it can and has been useful.

There is such strength in this book in that it clearly supports workers drawing on all the tools in their tool box to enhance their Theraplay Practice.  The illustrations of where its important and indeed vital to look at adaptations are well illustrated and I think will give workers confidence to ask the questions they need to ask and go looking for answers in how best to meet the needs of their families.

And just to finish - I loved this statement. ‘This does not mean that the relationship will be without its difficulties because therapeutic work is hard , but if we attend to the rupture and repair cycle that happens within relationships, this gives us a strong basis to move forward’

I often talk to parents about how rupture in relationship with their child is not the end of the world but can be seen as an opportunity to repair and deepen attachment.  And I love that theraplay is about relationship and if we can show parents how to rupture and repair successfully not only do we strengthen the trust and strength of their working relationship with us but we also see them  grow in capacity and stretch themselves further than they ever thought possible.

I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to develop their theraplay practice.  It will be invaluable to those at the beginning of their journey with Theraplay and also a lovely refresh for those of us that have been practicing for some time.  It is full of wisdom as well as a ton of practical tools to support practice.  I know that I will be re-visiting it again and again.


​I did my Level 1 Training in London at the beginning of 2010 and immediately loved it and started using it in my work. I used the games in  groups for new adoptive parents and in my direct work with families as part of my role as Children’s worker at Scottish Adoption. In 2013 I did my Level 2 and realised that I needed to start formalising the work I was doing, using MIMs and being more structured with my parent and Child work.  I started talking to Fiona Peacock at this point although it wasn’t until Feb 2016 that I started my Foundation Level.  Fiona is still my go to person for supervision and my Mid-term report for my Intermediate has been on hold since I took on the Practice Manager Role at Scottish Adoption in 2018 – my New Year’s resolution is to complete Intermediate this year. 
 
Fiona Peacock has been working with us an organisation since 2017 and has been invaluable in supporting the understanding and use of theraplay principles in our work.  All our Senior Practitioners are trained to Level 1.  Our adopters are introduced to Theraplay games in prep group, again after approval on our Practical skills for Attachment Training day and post placement in our group programme.  Additionally we use MIMs for all families looking for After Adoption support – its invaluable as an assessment tool and parents are very positive about the process. 
 
I love theraplay - for me it’s a great fit both with me personally and the other tools that I use in my work and through Fiona’s support my practice is growing.  I look forward to dipping into The Practitioners Guide by Vivien Norris and Dafna Lender as part of my Theraplay journey going forward – I can see that it will be invaluable.
 
Julie Connaway
Practice Manager
Scottish Adoption

Theraplay® The Practitioner's Guide by Vivienne Norris and Dafna Lender 
 
IN STOCK NOW

FURTHER REVIEWS FOR THIS INVALUABLE NEW RESOURCE COMING SOON!

Special offer - buy Theraplay The Practitioners Guide and Parenting With Theraplay for just £35, saving £5.98 off the RRP

​Anyone interested in Theraplay® will know how difficult it is to find Theraplay® Institute approved information and activities. It can also be a challenge for people who use Theraplay® within their wider practice to get appropriate supervision for the Theraplay aspects of their work. In both areas Norris and Lender’s book is an invaluable resource.

It is a book packed full of reflection, imagination, problem solving and trouble shooting. The case studies are particularly helpful; they feel real, with honest acknowledgement by the therapists of their own countertransference, defences and complex feelings. They also highlight without any blame or shame how difficult it is for some children and parents to adapt to news ways of relating.  
 
One of the complexities of Theraplay® is that it looks incredibly simple in theory but can be remarkably difficult to practice with efficacy. The authors have considered numerous challenges for the newly qualified and perhaps even the more experienced practitioner, from choosing sequences of activities that allow the therapist to stay relaxed while the child remains engaged, to working with complex parents and understanding and supporting children with deeply challenging forms of resistance, anxiety and control. In fact, in many ways, this is a treasure chest of support for anyone working with children and families, even those who are not Theraplay® trained. By that I mean the Theraplay® attitude and perspective provide a great model of engagement and relational connection that has a true attachment-in-action focus .
 
The book packs in a lot of reading, helpfully structured into five sections.
Part 1 covers the overarching principles of Theraplay® and places it firmly within the context of trauma and attachment theory, dyadic developmental psychotherapy, social engagement theory and neurobiological research.

Part 2 is entitled Nuts and Bolts. I found this “troubleshooting” section particularly valuable. It deals with the “lived experience of engaging in Theraplay®”, answering many questions that I’ve never seen addressed anywhere else. It illustrates the real complexities of using the apparently simple activities in depth with traumatised children and their parents. All too often we focus on challenging children and fail to prepare for the parent work. The authors consider the skills needed for parent work and the challenges of engaging complex parents who could (often unconsciously) sabotage work with the child. As it says on the tin – the nuts and bolts!

Part 3: Becoming a Theraplay® practitioner is a much shorter section, obviously of particular interest to anyone consider training in the approach, trainees and new therapists. Again, although clearly focused on Theraplay®, it also addresses many aspects of supervision that would be of interest to therapists of other creative disciplines who work with children and their parents.

Part 4: examples of completed supervision forms looks at the MIM-based assessment form and shows examples of completed supervision forms, plus a final evaluation supervision form, complete with feedback. It is a practical section that should leave you in no doubt about the meticulous detail required in the paperwork. This detail is made possible through the use of video recording sessions and playing them back so that therapist, parent and supervisor can view the detail of interactions, proving yet again the power of the most subtle relational exchanges in creating connection or disconnection.

Part 5 is the resources section. It includes session plans for different types of clients, a guide for parents, including handouts with checklists to help parents see what the four dimensions look like within the parent-child relationship.  It’s also great to see a section on sensory regulation and children’s tolerance of touch.  As you would expect there is an updated list of Theraplay® activities. I had mixed feelings about this section. It was good to see the guidance for different age groups, but I tend to find the description of Theraplay® activities brief and often vague. Also, no group activities are included. These are small quibbles in an otherwise super resource. I have no doubt that this will be the Theraplay® bible for years to come. 

​Sheila Lavery