'Facilitating Meaningful Contact in Adoption and Fostering' by Louis Sydney and Elsie Price.

This is the first book I’ve read that tackles the issues involved in contact between adopted and foster children and their birth family. It considers the various forms of contact from direct contact, social media contact to occasional letterbox contact and even considers the impact on children where contact is not possible. It looks at the impact of contact on babies who are in foster care and who are involved in travelling to and from contact.  

The book starts with a consideration of the nature of contact today and in particular explores contact in the context of the, often, traumatic nature of children’s experiences prior to being accommodated. It looks at the neurological impact of early trauma and its impact on children’s ability to form attachments. The book stresses the importance of looking at contact in the context of children’s history and the way contact might impact children’s current attachment patterns and ways of managing. The authors are clear that contact should reflect children’s needs and be seen as an opportunity to help children repair from the impact of early traumatic experiences. The book’s use of case examples brings the points the authors want to emphasise alive; they demonstrate, in a practical way, how their views on contact can be put into practice.

Chapter two provides a clear explanation of the rationale for facilitating contact and clearly outlines how to prepare for and support such contact. This, for me, is essential reading for professionals considering how to manage contact in a way that is therapeutic for children. 

The book goes on to consider the impact of contact for babies and toddlers and invites readers to consider what contact does to babies and toddlers in terms of their attachments and ability to trust. The book goes on to consider ‘goodbye contact’ for children who are moving from temporary to permanent care. Given the potential for future contact through, for example, social media the authors suggest that the ‘goodbye contact’ should be renamed ‘goodbye for now contact’.

The book considers not only contact between children and their birth parents but also contact between siblings who are not living together. It considers the impact when children have different experiences; for example when children experience a disrupted placement. 

I would recommend this book as essential reading for all professionals working in the field of fostering and adoption. The book will also be helpful for foster carers and adopters who are involved in contact arrangements. It will help them consider the potential impact of contact arrangements and therefore assist parents in supporting their children. 

Christine Gordon
ADAPT Scotland

THESE REVIEWS ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON THE SCOTTISH ADOPTION WEBSITE AND ARE REPRODUCED WITH PERMISSION

The Confusing World of Brothers, Sisters and Adoption By Regina. M .Kupecky
 
This simple to read workbook is the 3rd in a series of workbooks based on 'The Adoption Club' , a fictional support club for adopted children aged 5-11. The book is intended  not only for social workers, counsellors or therapists working with children in this age bracket, but also for adoptive parents.

Being an adoptive parent myself, I was glad to see that it stretches to no more than 45 pages, and  as it's a simple read,I was able get through a first reading quite easily over a cup of coffee while my youngsters attended a sports club after school. 

Mrs Bright, the counselor at the Adoption Club, is the main character and she takes you through the social histories of the different children who attend the club. A wide range of children from different backgrounds and experiences are described in child friendly language and while the individual characters may not exactly match the particular children you are working with, they are general enough to find common similarities with the type of child likely to be encountered in any school or club settings today.

Each  character description  provides a follow up  section where feelings can be explored and questions recorded. Such as feelings of separation and loss of a sibling,  being an only child  or inheriting a new brother or sister and the emotional conflict that this brings.  I found that these exercises provide good story starters for my children who find it difficult to begin expressing their thoughts openly and  who find the security of talking through the personality of a third person reassuring.

As second timer newly adoptive dads we had a giggle when we read about the ups downs of having a new wee brother join the family.  It was reassuring  to think that the exhibited behaviours we are witnessing at home are no more than the normal readjustment interactions between two boys getting used to having to share time and space, and that our boys, much like those boys depicted at the club, are going through all this too. Its not only just us!

This book provides an easy to read set of activities which you can choose to work through with your child or young person or just to pick up from when relationships need to be explored a little further.  Failing that you could always all just sit down on the couch and watch an episode of Modern Family on the TV together!
 
-An Adoptive Dad.

Review

'Attachment in Common Sense and Doodles: A Practical Guide' (2013)
by Miriam Silver

With so many books about Attachment already available, Miriam Silver had a hard task in writing something different!  She achieves this, apparently effortlessly, with this well-written and accessible book, based both on theory and on her considerable experience as a clinician.

The book starts off perhaps a little tentatively, with well-known explanations and diagrams of attachment theory and a reminder about the need for not only children, but also adults, to have a safe base.  The author gives a helpful chapter on “why attachment matters” and the impact of poor early care.  Where she starts to into her own, however, is in providing opportunities for self-reflection, through small exercises which are interspersed throughout the book.  These exercises encourage us to reflect on our own attachment patterns, those of the children we care for or work with and the reciprocal impact.

As you delve further into this gem of a book, you find many insights into the behaviour of children with attachment difficulties and their carers’ reactions.  For example, in looking at the possibility that a “blow out” may create familiarity for a child, the author also reminds carers to be aware of their own physiological response: you can’t contain a child’s feelings if you are feeling angry yourself. The book could have stopped here but Miriam Silver bravely addresses the tendency for professionals to label children who come with challenging presentations and encourages us to think widely about the possible combination of organic and acquired difficulties.  

The second half of the book looks at parenting styles and the core qualities of the therapeutic parent, including Dan Hughes’ PLACE (Playful, Loving, Acceptance, Curious, Empathic).  The author addresses the deep shame which many children with traumatic pasts carry about themselves, their triggers from the past and how to help them to change the story which they have about themselves. This is a book which draws you in!  The language is very accessible and the text is accompanied by “doodles” drawn by Teg Landsell, which are very helpful.  

The book is intended for carers or professionals who are dealing with children who have been placed away from their birth parents after early trauma, neglect or abuse.  Miriam Silver’s objective was “provide a fresh approach… in an accessible form”.  In this she succeeds admirably and I commend this book wholeheartedly to foster carers, adoptive parents and to those working with them. 

*****  star rating   
Heather M Drysdale 
Systemic Psychotherapist/Adoption and Fostering Consultant

 Review

 ‘Holding on and hanging in’ (2010) by Lorna Miles 

I have just discovered this wonderful book by Lorna Miles, therapeutic foster carer. Interlaced with both the understanding and therapeutic PACE parenting (Dan Hughes model) of Wayne – a severely traumatised nine year old – it is wise, practical, poignant and playful.  

Lorna Miles takes the reader with her on her family’s  journey to support Wayne to start to grow and heal, and in telling the story she gives an honest account of the many challenges, frustrations, trials and tribulations.  

The book packs a punch with respect to the importance of the team around the family (social work, health and education) working together with a shared understand and a high level of support available.   

This is a great book for parents, carers and professionals.  As Dan Hughes says: 
‘This one story brings the theories, research, professional conferences and training to life.  And makes all the effort worthwhile’ 

Edwina Grant
Scottish Attachment in Action Committee Member
DDP Practitioner, Trainer & Consultant